Poolside Percy

Score: ۞۞۞ ۞۞ Cost: £3.30 Distance: 50 miles (by train) Website: http://www.olymposcentres.co.uk/index.php?s=sports&c=Swimming Locker: 007 I was picking up DW from Tia Suzie so hurriedly searched on the net and this cool swimming pool in Haywards Heath. Big bright and clean leisure centre. Eerily quiet. It was about 1.30pm so I guess Hayward Heaths' finest were busy polishing glasses and waiting on roast beef dinners. Was feeling a bit wretched after a big night on Friday so approached this swim with a lot of trepidation. Pool was empty apart from a couple of casual swimmers one of whom was doing front crawl with me at the end so I guess that makes me pretty casual. As usual struggled through the first 10 or so lengths, wondered what the hell I was doing but gained a bit of rhythm and more importantly buoyancy. Managed fifty lengths. Felt very pleased, even astounded with myself. Think I left another locker pound on the side by mistake. My contribution to the Hayward Heath caus

Danny and I had a short swim. Took diving sticks and had a great game of Tinkle Wars. Swam through underwater hoops and did some diving. Nice time.

Took Danny and Joti. Fifty lengths. Place was packed with kids enjoying themselves. Nice atmosphere. Pool was murky. Place is still filthy. Staff don't seem that bothered. Still no response from Barnet Council. Photo: Finchley Lido 1935

Score: ۞۞۞ ۞۞ Cost: £3.70 (with leisure card) Distance: 3.9 miles Website: www.gll.org/centre/barnet-copthall-leisure-centre.asp Locker: 300 With the promise of three pools and an approach road called 'Champions Way' my expectations were high. Proper seventies reception and receptionist. Think wooden panelling and mascara. Big clean changing rooms. Main pool is nice and wide. Few seats around the edge, you could almost hear the screams of galas gone by. Pool was a bit chilly but had a lane all to myself as the place was pretty deserted. Just a few old aged pensioners and a couple of kids with their dad. Fifty lengths. Old geezer kept up with me all the way and he did loads of breaststroke. Hmmm. Had a bit of a nosy round. Diving pool was shut. Never been one for diving. Don't think I ever dived off the top board at Kentish Town let alone Swiss Cottage. Saw a few old jewish blokes heading off to the training pool which they had to themselves. You see a lot of them over the p

Score: ۞۞ ۞۞۞ Cost: £3.70 Distance: 43 miles Website: http://www.stevenage-leisure.co.uk/CentrenbspLocator/SaxonPoolampLeisureCentre/tabid/389/Default.aspx Locker: 004 Very functional pool. Changing village etc. Freestyle cafe. Very dull. Nice warm pool. Only one lane for swimming, rest of pool was taken up by Biggleswade Swimming Club. Nice wide lane so no complaints. Mostly mums doing a bit of breaststroke. Good for them. Why is it when parents take their kids to swimming lessons they sit and watch? Take ya costume and do a few lengths. Made the mistake of buying a tuna sandwich from the Spar afterwards. It left a nasty taste in my mouth all the way home. Not sure what the Saxon reference is. Made me think of Saxondale with Steve Coogan. Sang 'Wednesday Week' by the Undertones all the way their and back.

Private pool Score: ۞۞۞ ۞۞ Great for kids and holidaymakers. Bit hard to turn round in the shallow end.

Quick forty lengths. Changing room floors covered in dirty water. Complained ages ago. No response. Photo: Finchley Lido, 1952

Score:  ۞۞۞ ۞ ۞ Cost: £3.90 Distance: 7 miles Website:  www.aquaterra.org/ironmonger-row-baths/how-to-find-us I've been to this fantastic pool a few times. First time in February 2010. Great 30.5m pool. Nice chilled atmosphere. Whatever this place lacks it makes up for. Wish it was on my doorstep. Will return whenever I can. Might check out the Turkish baths if I'm brave enough.