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Monday night mission. The timetable said swimming club till 9pm, then men only swimming till 10 o'clock. OK, I know that some pools do women only sessions, can't work out why they would have a men only. Out In Tottenham maybe?
Beautiful day in London, very cold at 8.30 when I left my house. Even colder on my Vespa. The reception was empty apart from one customer. The receptionist took ages explaining the membership options which gave me time to read all the notices about being patient during busy periods and having the correct change to help shorten queuing time. They must get a lot of queues, it took 10 minutes to pay for my swim.
Anyway, this is Tottenham. Think Marcus Garvey Library, Bernie Grant, Harry Redknapp. I was hoping to see Diane Abbot as lifeguard and Ricky Villa mopping the floors. What I did get was a bit of bling, tinny music and pools of stagnant dirty water on the changing room floors.
OK, I am going to remain positive. I bet this place is packed at the weekend with kids having fun on the flumes with their mums and dads.
OK, water was warm, if not cloudy (dirty). There is a grill which runs the width of the pool at the bottom of the deep end, the kind that sharks swim out of in James Bond films. I have a major Jaws induced phobia about sharks, even in a swimming pool in Tottenham. I imagine Bernie Grant having a big chuckle as the sharks thrash and the water turns red. Pool is dirty enough as it is thank you.
I swam a few lengths of the nearly empty pool before I was joined by about 20 Jewish fathers and sons. Men only session, Tottenham. I understand now. You get loads of Jewish men/boys over the ponds.
I swam 40 odd lengths in the now very busy pool before treating myself to a hot shower which lasted for a meagre six seconds before turning itself off...
Never coming here again.