Poolside Percy

Water temperature: 16 degrees As soon as my face hit the water I knew this was a bad idea. I sort of wade and stumble up and down The Lido, I can hardly swim and my goggles feel like they've been strapped round someone else's rubber clad head. I don't feel good. I had thought about doing a big end of summer mile but that aint happening today. I give up after 10 cruel lengths and lie down on a bench, at least the sun is shining. I bet the tai-chiers haven't got half my problems. I pedal off home thinking of breakfast and rehydration. I reckon I'll be fit enough for another party tonight.

Slightly overcast Saturday morning post-Parkrun swim. I feel great this morning. No boozing for a couple of weeks, I've done some good runs and my leg feels just about normal. Time for the last Saturday morning Mixed Pond swim of the summer. The cool water makes me gasp. I swim powerfully up the pond in an attempt to keep warm. From the bank GB shouts a compliment about my dive, you can shout that as loudly as you like mate. I chat to a genteel lady from Mill Hill about her husband's health, the benefits of your children learning languages and the old London telephone exchange names, ours was Gulliver, I still have the Bakelite phone. If you're too young to understand... I swam about four lengths and clambered out feeling rejuvenated, alive.  I watched and laughed as two wetsuited swimmers abandoned their rubber coating and swam as nature intended. A fantastic start to the day.

Water temp: 15 degrees Night time swim at the Lido. The sun had just about set when I arrived. Scores on the doors said 15 degrees in and 15 out of the water, equilibrium. It got dark very quickly after I arrived and the Lido lights came on. Well, most of them were lit, the deep end was still pretty much in darkness. I've never experienced a floodlit swim at the Lido before. The water felt icy, it took ages for me to catch my breath. Swimmers zigzagged their way down the semi-illuminated pool narrowly avoiding each other. I literally bumped in to a bloke named Frank who I'd met at Ironmonger Row last year. He's swum the channel. We chatted at the shallow end but the water was too cold for chit-chat, my teeth were chattering. I swam a length with him, I don't suppose a length of the Lido is much to a channel swimmer, always leaves me breathless. The Lido looked really beautiful this evening. Two days till the end of the summer season. This is a film about ...

Colin the lock keeper At 7am on an overcast and drizzly Saturday morning I left the warmth, security and relative sanity of my bed to go swimming in The Thames, Shiplake to Henley-Upon-Thames to be precise. I met up with fellow swimmers Liz, Clare and Jonathon on the train at Paddington. We started at Shiplake Lock in Oxfordshire and gently swam our merry way down the river towards Henley, stopping for the occasional breather and chance to gaze in awe at the riverside houses. We ended up completing an epic 3.5K swim. Not much running today. I got to take my Chill Swim (inflatable) dry bag on her maiden voyage. The bag worked a treat, only wish I had bought a slightly larger one or taken slightly less stuff. Great breakfast in Henley-Upon-Thames. We had some time to kill before catching the train home so we visited Dusty Springfield's grave. Here's Dusty singing "The Water is Wide', seems appropriate enough.

Water temp: 16 degrees Overcast and drizzly, perfect morning for an outdoor swim in an unheated pool. As I arrived the sun made the merest hint that it may still be be with us, a sort of polite cough behind a half-closed door. At least the water temperature has remained steady for the last few days, feels bloody cold tho'. I swim a very quick and thoroughly enjoyable 12 twelve lengths. The weather slightly improves, there are even a few patches of blue sky over Kite Hill. I get talking to a man in the shower, he asks me if I want to watch a video... Video of his band, this is. Filmed at The Lido no-less:

Tuesday morning overcast swim. I overhear a cheeky wag telling a fellow regular that white wine gives him an erection. He then turns to me and tells me that he was thrown out of the Lido in 1954, apparently the lifeguard caught him pissing in the pool: Him: "But everyone pisses in the pool." Lifeguard: "Not off the diving board." It's not a glorious morning. The water temperature has drooped three degrees since Sunday. Undeterred, I stiffen my resolve and hurl myself in to the water with a semi-decent dive. I swim 16 lovely Lido lengths followed by one very, very hot shower. It's all gone a bit autumnal, I've not given up on summer yet tho', I shall return, soon.

Water temp: 19 degrees Sunday morning swim. The weather can't really make up it's mind this morning. No clues given. I bump in to an old friend, she's making her annual trip to The Lido, she's leaving it a bit late, she couldn't make up her mind whether to go for 40 degree vikram yoga or take her chances with the steely cold of The Lido."I must be mad" she exclaims before heading off on her aquatic odyssey. I power up and down occasionally enjoying the heat from the sun on my back as it darts in and out between the clouds. I swim 20 lengths and decide that's enough. The Lido summer season ends in a couple of weeks, my season ticket expires in mid November. As I'm getting changed the heavens open. I seek refuge from the deluge in the cafe. I bump in to my old friend again at the exit, despite a scalding shower her lips are tinged with blue and she's still shivering. I offer her my coat and walk her to the bus stop.

Saturday morning. Last night I went out for a quiet drink to celebrate my little sister's birthday. I've had five hours sleep, no dinner or breakfast and I'm still very pissed. I also thought it would be a good idea to do Parkrun again this morning, at least I've sweated out some of the booze. I don't smell too good. The Mixed Pond beckons. A swim can usually cure the most evil of hangovers. The rejuvenating waters have no affect, I can barely lift an arm to swim front-crawl. I swim breaststroke and enjoy the gentle sounds my fingers make as they cut through the water, it distracts me from the sound of last night's ale sloshing round in my head. I swim a couple of lengths, I couldn't possibly manage another one, I wish I could have said that last night. One of the lifeguards takes pity on my wretchedness and offers me a cup of coffee. I don't drink coffee any more but gratefully accept a cup, I can't tell if it makes any difference.

Water temp: 20 degrees (so the sign says) Friday early evening swim. I've caught the very last rays of today's sun as it slips slowly and inevitably behind the trees. I lie on my back in the water and stare up at the clouds. I can't do this for long as I start to drift and the sensations I get from staring at the clouds are far too intense. Who needs drugs? I swim a couple of laps and leave feeling refreshed and glad I've made the effort. I head off to see my little sister for a quiet birthday drink...

Water temp: 21 degrees Wow, what a misty morning. Spiders webs everywhere. Cycling up to Highgate reveals blue skies and sunshine, a sneak preview of what lies ahead. I roll down Highgate West Hill and plunge once more in to the mistiness. Lido looks amazing with the mist rolling across the water. I swim 16 lengths before heading off to work. Photo: Laura Nolte

Parliament Hill Fields Lido Sunday morning, far too early. Despite my gammy leg, I'm doing the Hampstead Heath Pondathon again today. I'm feeling a little bit nervous and a bit intimidated by all the fit young people around me. No, sod it, I'm doing this for me, doing this for fun. Before I know it I'm in the water and 3-2-1 we're off... The Lido is lean and mean and should be the easiest swim, after all I'm playing at home. However, I'm struggling, I feel like chucking in the towel at length two. I'm spurred on by the rousing cheers of the home fans GF and DW. At least I'm not last out of the pool, and by no means least. The run to the Men's Pond is like an Alan Sillitoe novel , long and lonely. I've not been overtaken yet. The Men's Pond greets me like an old friend. I manage to overtake two other swimmers in what seems like a never ending lap, good job I've been doing lots of swimming this week. Me in the Ladies Po...