Poolside Percy

Highgate Ponds 1913 (no Holly Lodge) Water temp: 4 degrees It's lunchtime. I leave my colleagues to surf the web and eat their plastic wrapped sarnies or microwaved leftovers, I'm going over Hampstead Heath. The sun is definitely making an appearance today. After a little jog up and down the hills I head for the Men's Pond. As I reach the gate to the pond I feel a little bit excited, you're going to enjoy this I tell myself. The pond and changing room are deserted. The sign on the wall says '4 degrees - invigorating', sounds good, just what I'm looking for. After a cautious entrance in to the water I swim off towards the perimeter rope, the cold is really gnawing at my muscles. I feel elated as I climb the ladder and I'm back on firmer terror. I have a brief chat with a Finnish ice-swimmer, then run off to Kenwood and beyond then back to the normality of work. I don't mention my adventures to my colleagues, I don't know why.

I'm really up for a lung-busting Oasis session this afternoon. Conditions are perfect, I managed to blag a free swim and a fairly empty pool lies before me. I start strongly and with great purpose. However, within a few minutes the pool is heaving with office workers, I have no room to swim. I left it too late, it's gone 5.30 and the indoor pool is closed. I drift aimlessly in the mid-life-lane, consider swimming breaststroke and quickly decide to call it a day. Oh well. I cycle off south for an ecclesiastical appointment.

Highgate Ponds - The Swimmer Water temp: 4 degrees I'm working in Gospel Oak again this week. I feel at home round here, probably 'cos I was born and schooled not a few lengths away. It's a lovely afternoon. I usually go for a run round The Heath at lunchtime when I'm working in these parts. I've had an inspired idea, I'm going to go for a run, swim, run - a Skimpy Swimmer. The 'changing room' is empty. The board says four degrees. I spend a few moments talking to Terry Lifeguard. He realises my delaying tactic and says, 'Get in, you're never in that long'. It's time to venture a little further across the pond. I descend the steps in to the sunny waters and swim an unhurried combination of breaststroke and crawl until I reach the furthest point from the jetty. I'm in no rush to get back to the steps and enjoy the cold biting water snapping against my arms. It's great to be alive. 'You swam well today' says Terr

I was well chuffed to read the text from Jonathan inviting me on all expenses paid fishing/swimming trip to somewhere hot and exotic. I accepted his invite and immediately returned to the bar to order some cold, fizzy, celebratory drinks... In the sobering, aching light of the next afternoon I reread my invite. I'd signed up for the Parliament Hill Ice Swimming Hootenanny. At least I got the swimming bit right. One length of my favourite pool with the fabulous Katie, Jonathan and Simon from The Swimmer Anyway, the big day has arrived. I've been training all week (twice), I can keep my face in the water for nearly a whole length and the Lido water is a very balmy (sic) seven degrees. So, for the second time this week I'm handing over to Lady MacKatie from Entirely Covered In Eau d'Chlorine: Parliament Hill Icy Swim Hootenanny We had a lot of fun. We came second. My leg of the relay is described as 'lusty'.

Water temp: 7 degrees Wow. Water temperature has risen slightly since Tuesday. Thursday morning pre-work length in preparation for this weekend's relay race. Should have done more. Should've, could've. A fellow swimmer laughed when she saw me taking a photo of the temperature board: 'It doesn't prove you went in' she said. Bumped in to Paul N. over The Heath, not seen him for time.

Water temp: 6 degrees in, 5 degrees out I'm practising for a relay race this Saturday. I will explain at some point in the very near future. One quick as I can length. Frontcrawl, face in water. Painful. Breathtaking. Masters Went to master's swimming in the evening. I swam 114 hardcore lengths.

  I'm handing over the fruit pastille flavoured baton once again to Katie for this month's write-up: entirely surrounded by water (fantastic photos by Icicle Pete)

Ever since I woke up I've been thinking about my anointed dip in the Men's Pond. I guess I must have decided last night that I would swim this morning. I'm doing The Swimmer again tomorrow and I should be mentally prepared. Despite the lingering darkness of the morning and the frost on the ground I remain resolved. I think of nothing else other than my aquatic appointment. I'm a bit nervous. I'm a crap cold water swimmer really. I'm not even sure why I do it. I guess it's like whisky, it's not the taste it's the effect. I never drink whisky, well sometimes perhaps, I don't recall. Anyway, I'm on my bike heading for The Heath. The wintery sun has come out to cheer me on. I watch the commuters herd each other in to the tube station, Not one of them will be thinking about swimming outdoors on Hampstead Heath today. I like that, I am unique, I am free. I'm not thinking about anything else other than swimming outdoors on this beautifu

Grey and overcast Adrenalin junky huh? Where's the buzz in running uphill though six inches of mud in to a howling gale? Yep, it's another Hampstead Heath Parkrun Saturday. GB and I are on the prowl for more legal highs. The East German Swimming Team have just left the Men's Pond so it's All Quiet On The Western Front. Bizarrely, there's no temperature displayed on the the boards today. 'What's the temperature Mr. Lifeguard?' 'I'll tell you when you get out.' If you look up 'grey and overcast' on Wikipedia then I'm sure this morning is it's very definition. The usually placid pond waters are choppy today. We eventually, inevitably and confidently make our way across the pond to the perimeter rope. I swim a desperate and noisy style of frontcrawl and breaststroke. A sense of joy has overcome me but I could be confusing that feeling with fear. GB looks like he may do a lap of honour. Before you know it we're safe

Best Academic Swim - The Swimmer Cambridge Best Aquatic Quixotic Adventure - La Piscina Corduentes Coldest Swim - Men's Pond (3 degrees) Longest Swim - The Swimmer Thames Special Best Newcomer Award - Charlton Lido Best Swimming Book - 'Pondlife' by Al Alvarez Happiest Afternoon Of My Life Swim -  River Thames nr Sonning Best Dive In The World Ever -  Salto Poveda, near Molina, Spain The Longest Day - Parliament Hill Lido

Water temp: 5 degrees Happy new year folks. Post Parkrun swim with the irrepressible GB and the Majestic Marcus. The morning is full of wind, rain and hungover laughter. Straight off the springboard in to the choppy waters.