Poolside Percy

Gorgeous George Water temp: 17 degrees

Water temp: 16 degrees Bell's palsy: week 3 Thursday lunchtime dip. Swimming without swimming aids today, I realise that I'm not even using them. Well that's progress folks. I'm still wearing goggles at the ponds tho' as I can't quite close my right eye properly. I'm wearing swimming hat 'cos I'm a massive wuss. Bell's bollocks is now measured in weeks rather than days.   Photo: Cold Pond Water

Water temp: 16 degrees Bell's palsy: day 20 Thursday morning pre-work swim. Managed to swim 10 lengths without snorkel or noseclip. Almost smiling properly again.

View from Serpentine Bridge Water temp: 62.0F / 16.7C Air: 52.0F / 11.1C Bell's palsy: day 18 It's far too early on Tuesday morning and I'm cycling across London to swim in The Serpentine. I happily ride around Regent's Park and merrily meander past the crowds snaking their way out of Marylebone Station. I cross the Bayswater Road and enter a dreamy, mist-filled Hyde Park. The sun has barely risen from it's slumber. Is the sun male or female I ponder as I stand upon Serpentine Bridge. This is no morning for prejudice, let's go swimming. I've arranged to meet GB at 7.45, I need him to show me the ropes, apart from visits with the swimmer faithful, I've never done an early morning swim here. He arrives pretty much on time, big smile on his mush. We're in and out of the members' intimate mixed changing room before you can say Peter Pan . I'm a member of The Serpentine Swimming Club, I just don't have a membership card, honest

Water temp: 16 degrees Bell's palsy: day 15 Saturday morning post-Parkun swim. I'm off the steroids, nasty drug. I feel like I drank 25 cups of coffee yesterday and just downed a can of Coke for breakfast. Do you know that feeling? The post steroid buzz is probably the reason I just ran my second fastest ever Parkrun, on route b'stard as well. Still determined to get a personal b'stard on route b'stard. Very quick dip today because I have to be somewhere else which is not here. There's just enough time to swim a couple of lengths and swap pleasantries with some vagrant Brockwell Icicles, they must have drifted off their migratory path, I hope they make it home OK. One of them made this video:

Water temp: 19 degrees Bell's palsy: day 14 Friday afternoon swim. I gonna try to swim frontcrawl without snorkel and noseclip. OK, that's still not working properly, I'm still getting too much water in my lopsided mouth. Hell's Bell's. Back to the snorkel and noseclip, 27 lovely late summer lengths with my swimming aids. Indian sunbathe disrupted by English downpour, sought shelter in the café. Almost the end of The Lido summer season, two days to go, so this is probably my last Lido afternoon swim of the year.

Water temp: 16 degrees

Water temp: 19 degrees Bell's palsy: day 12 Taking the restorative Lido waters.

Sunnyish Sunday morning swim with GF Water temp: 18 degrees Bell's palsy: day 10 Well done to GB, Katie and Marcus who did the Dart10K this morning. I swam the last three of my 30 lengths thinking of you, one a piece, well done. I obviously didn't make it to Totnes, reality caught up with me.

Water temp: 18 degrees Bell's palsy: day 8 Thursday lunchtime swim on the way home from the doctors. After giving me the usual: 'And what do you expect me to do about it' look, Dr. Doctor was actually quite helpful this morning. He didn't actually advise me to do the Dart10K this weekend and he didn't tell me not to do it either, he just sat there with the fence wedged right up his backside. I hope he prescribes himself some cream for it. Meanwhile the sun is shining on The Lido. There are a handful of regulars scattered about the place. I spend a while chatting to a lovely retired lady called Ruth from Gospel Oak. It really is a stunning day. Kitted out with my snorkel and nose clip I plough up and down the pool, barely raising my goggles to check out my surroundings. The Lido clock has stopped. I have given myself until this evening to decide about the Dart10K.

Using my tinted goggles as a filter Water temp: 16 degrees (felt warmer) Bell's palsy: day 6 If you're going to test out your snorkel for an open water swim then the best place to do it is the Men's Pond. OK, let's cut this short, the steroids are making me feel quite impatient today. The lifeguards were very caring and understanding and kept a vigilant eye on me, thank you. The swim was great, I ended swimming seven laps, that's about 2KM (I cut some fairly large corners). I would have liked to have swum more but I had to get home to see my son. Maybe I'm feeling too confident about swimming on Sunday. Doubt, counter-doubt. I don't know. I'm bored of my stupid jokes about half smiles and semi-grins. I'll whistle a happy tune instead, guess not. This is where reality sets in.

Water temp: 19 degrees Bell's palsy: day 5 The Outdoor Swimming Society are allowing me to use a snorkel in the Dart10K this Sunday. All I need to do is attend an access and medical needs briefing beforehand. All I need is a snorkel... I have a snorkel which the lovely lifeguards have turned a blind eye to, funny 'cos that's how I see everything at the moment. It's another beautiful afternoon in London. The snorkel is clipped to my goggles, here we go. There's quite a lot of drag against the snorkel in the water as I push off, best to clench your teeth and get on with it, that works. Wow, this is great, I don't have to turn my head from side to side. Uh-oh, my nose is full of water. I clamber out and borrow a nose clip, not flattering but we're way beyond image at this point. Now we're cooking, amazing, I swim and swim and swim, length after length, barely looking up. I forget to count lengths. There's a whole new world down there on The

Water temp: 19/20 degrees Good news - the summer has made a comeback. Bad news - I have Bell's Palsy , the right side of my face is completely paralysed, it happened on Friday night, I spent four hours in The Royal Free A&E. I don't know the cause. I'm on steroids, I feel disorientated and a bit pissed off. I'd smile but I can't.Hopefully I'll be back to normal in a few weeks... I'm supposed to be doing the Dart 10K swim this Sunday, I wasn't that bothered about doing it, I tried to sell my ticket a while ago. However, I'm now absolutely determined to do it. I'm going to go to The Lido and swim as many lengths as is humanly possible. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself. I am Poolside Palsy. It's a really beautiful afternoon, perfect in fact, the water is lovely. I can swim but as half my mouth is paralysed I get water in it and it's difficult to spit out. I try loads of different techniques, I even swim breaststroke. I

Water temp: 18 degrees Pre-work Friday morning swim, I've not had one of these in a long time. All the old faces are here, including Gorgeous George and the famous actor chap who always pays his debts. The forthcoming Dart10K is on my mind, this is a serious matter that deserves a little thought and a bit of training. It's a compulsory wetsuit swim, downhill towards the sea so I'm assuming that you point yourself in the right direction and let nature take her course. We'll see. Eighteen lengths today, one for each degree. It's amazing how much more powerful you feel in the water when you remember to use your legs.

Water temp: 18 degrees Late afternoon, late summer swim. I can't believe I'm saying that. Why did summer go so quickly, was it something that I said? Beautiful lazy swim, just what the doctor ordered. Now for some reason I entered the Dart10K swim. It's next weekend? I wonder if one lap of the ponds is enough training? Better think about this one.  

Water temp: 19 degrees After Sunday's fiasco in the duathlon I feel I have something to prove to myself. How is that I can bash out a mile of my favourite pool with not much effort at all, but stick my friends, family and 20 other duathletes in the pool, and I can barely swim? I should have thought about that beforehand. Oh well, a whole year to get it right. New tinted goggles today, I see the world in a different light. Forgot my swimming trunks tho'. Swam a very enjoyable 27 lengths.