Poolside Percy

Last gasp/chance Sunday afternoon swim. After a fruitless attempt at buying jeans and sunglasses I sought the calm and rejuvenating waters of the Oasis. I haven't been swimming much recently, it's cold, I can't find any free swimming vouchers and it's Christmas. Whatever, I love swimming at Oasis. There was a girl with flippers swimming at the bottom of the very deep end, she looked very cool. I arrived late but set myself a target of 60 lengths which I just about managed before kicking out time. Photo: CNJ

Sunday afternoon attempt at swimming. Arrive direct from Shepherd's Bush, water is cool, not even steaming. I lumber and splash, I've forgotten how to swim, forgotten how to be a hero. I feel very uninspired. I consider getting out at length 30 but as if by magic the middle lane becomes free, the massive expanse of the middle lane all to myself under the uninspiring, cloudless and starless London sky. I splosh on and on and on. Finally make it to 60 lengths. Suggs made a TV programme here once.

Friday post work swim. Arrived just before the pre-weekend rush. Pool was almost deserted, fast lane all to myself, water not very warm. I decided to time the first 40 lengths, I used to do this a few years ago when I first stated swimming here regularly. Anyway, after a lot of huffing, puffing, splashing and fears of a heart attack I swam 40 x 27.5m in 22 minutes, new world record I reckon. Swam another 20 at a more leisurely pace. New changing rooms and showers are totally fab, even enjoyed watching big club party bangers on the in-house tv screen, well I did till they showed a Robbie Williams video. Photo: my vintage london

T his is more like it. Ironmonger Row reopens after £16m refurb. Thanks to Rowan Arts I managed to get invited for a free swim in the pool which started this blog Despite the magnolia tiles this place still has heart and soul. Managed to do the worst inaugural dive ever which left me with a head full of chlorine and blinded in one eye. I slightly redeemed myself by swimming a maiden refurbished mile. Terrible showers but settled for a preview tour of the building with a bit of free cake and a mint Viscount thrown in for good nostalgic measure. Great afternoon.Will return to use the Turkish baths, but there again I said that back in April 2010. Home for homemade fishy fingers, samphire and Spanish plonk.

Lunchtime swim. Spent most of time with eye on the clock. Trial membership ends tomorrow.

Monday evening swim. Still not feeling right after Saturday night. Half-hearted attempt at swimming a crazy mile was interrupted by the Monday night swimming club. Sloped off to the slow lane. Odd man out. Long sit in the steam room.

Gonna keep these David Lloyd posts brief. Early evening session. Mental swim, became focussed on lapping gentleman in next lane. Great to swim outdoors in a heated pool minutes from home.

Back again. Lunch time swim, sun is out, empty pool, perfect conditions. Swam a very efficient mile, lane to myself spent most of my swim trying to justify paying the membership fees. Spoke to a lady who used to swim all year round in the Ladies Pond and a gentleman who fondly remembered the Peterborough Lido and swam rather majestically. Wonderful stuff.

< David Lloyd are doing a 12 days for £12 promotion, you don't have to ask me twice. Picked up my card, outdoor pool was closed (seasonal opening times), gutted. Kids swimming lesson in the indoor pool so bided my time by dipping my toes in the jacuzzi. Rather frustrating swim, managed about 45 lengths before being crowded out by slow people. Quick visit to the steam room then home. Disappointing, but nice to be back. Lionel Richie tunes in the spa room.

Water temp: a tropical 27 degrees Could've stayed home Sunday afternoon and done all those pesky little jobs that needed doing. Nah, headed for The Oasis In the heart of London's west end. Three other swimmers in the pool, joined the fast lane until the middle one became free. Enjoyed the luxury of the middle lane for about three lengths until I was joined by another. I decided before I left home that I was going to swim 70 lengths, I duly obliged. Sped up to the Indian veg place on Chapel Street for all you can eat with four chicas. Buenissimo. Click on the pic for British Pathé newsreel of The Oasis in 1954.

Water temp:  8 degrees Yep, still at it. I was feeling pretty virtuous after virtuoso performance at Parkrun this morning, well that's almost true, I thought I was going to die after lap one. Score on the Lido doors said eight degrees? My heart sank, that's too cold for me, that's one less than nine, it's too cold. A kind person offered me their swimming gloves and socks, I gratefully accepted. No way was I gonna dive in so I tried entering the pool at the shallow end, too cold. A strange but rational voice inside me suggested I should enter by the steps about a third of the way up the pool, that worked before, seemed reasonable enough. It was beyond cold, luckily the sun was shining, not sure if the gloves and socks helped with the cold, I found them difficult to swim in but that may have just been the cold. I managed three lengths then returned socks and gloves and hurried off to the Mecca of all showers. Thanks to the lady who offered me green tea. Phot

Score:   ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ ۞ I'm in Derbyshire, just a short journey through the national park to Glossop, home of this wonderful looking Victorian swimming pool. It's only £3.20 to get in, bargainus. The building is set in a lovely park. I marvel at the beauty of the building's interior, amazing windows and mosaics, the wooden spectators benches worn down over time rather than worn out and broken in plastic leisure centre style. On the bottom of the shallow end it says 'Shallow End' in massive red letters, wouldn't that be more useful at the deep end? There are quite a few kids and parents in the water, I dive in and proceed to zigzag my way through the splashing and games, I must be really annoying I consider, we can coexist I reconsider. The water is warm and clean. I realise why the warning sign is in the shallow end and not the deep end. Eventually I'm joined by some fellow swimmers, the kids have vanished. My aquamate points out that we're now

www.cheezburger.com/ Water temp: 13 degrees Apparently the patron saint of swimmers is Saint Adjutor of Vernon , there's a couple for cold ('tis common), but there isn't one for thermometers, should be one, we've gone up a degree, thank god for swimming. Pre-work swim. Not a morning for messing about, sod the meek, in we go. Fourteen glorious lengths, one long, long hot shower.

Valentina Salsa Picante How I ended up here I don't know. The girl on the door asked me to pay on the way out as she was dealing with a membership enquiry, yeah right. The sun is shining and the pool is virtually empty compared to previous visits. For one reason or another I'm not feeling quite right today, however, I set myself a big target of 45 x 50m lengths, that's more than 2 chlorinated kilometres. I eased my way in to the fast lane, well, a crap dive that sent my oversized, leaky goggles skewiff. There are usually some seriously macho swimmers here, some with beards, today is no exception. I get lapped and lapped as I lap up the lengths. I move in to the middle lane when I feel squeezed out of the macho lane, what a wimp. The salmon and cream cheese bagel in my bag spurs me on. I move off from London Fields in a hypnotic trance towards Old Street and a Mexican shop in Bethnal Green which sells my favourite salsa.

Water temp: 11 degrees It's a gorgeous morning in London, Indian summertime in the city. Yikes, another temperature drop. This is a toughie, limbs feel tired, struggle to swim properly, the rush doesn't hit me till about length six or seven. Managed 12 lengths today, that's one for every degree and one for luck. Sat and soaked up some sunshine. A lot of Lido Backbenchers in today.

Water temp: 13 degrees I'm back for more pre-work swimming shenanigans. Despite the cold night, the temperature has gone up, hooray. Feels even colder than yesterday, boo. Thankfully it's Friday, hooray. I really didn't want to get out at length 12 but my feet were telling me otherwise. 'So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.' Tim Vine.

Water temp: 12 degrees Thursday morning pre-work swim. Twelve degrees? "Scalded cats fear even cold water." Apparently 'tis true. There's a nip in the air and not a hint of sunshine. I sat on a bench for 15 minutes memorised by the big, blue expanse of blueness, the only living thing it contained was a rubber clad man, even he was wearing rubber boots and gloves. Snap out of it. I busied myself arranging my clothes on the bench in a sad attempt at buying time. Yes, the water was cold, took my dear little breath away. Sun came out briefly for my first couple of lengths, managed to swim 10 this morning. Praise the lord of hot showers for my hot shower this morning. Returned to bench to find a pigeon had crapped on my lovely white Fred Perry t-shirt. Apparently that's an omen of good fortune, so's tingling hands, but that could be the cold.

Water temp: 13 degrees Sunny, Sunday morning. My poor head is spinning from too much late night business. Hey-ho, up early enough for last swim of the weekend. Lido is pretty busy, there must be 50+ people here, apparently there's a Lido users' group meeting today, it's a bit like the House of Lords when they're trying to push through a piece of controversial legislation, The Lido Backbenchers. Well freakin' cold in the water today, I dutifully and lazily swam 12 lengths. Shame I didn't have time to lie in the sun, I never seem to have the time, too busy staying up late. Home to make roast dinner for six. www.HyperSmash.com

Photo http://fromdisctilldawn.wordpress.com Saturday afternoon outdoor swim in sunny London. GF doesn't do cold so it's off to to the tropical waters of The Oasis. Back to The Oasis, I paid, my treat. They've done the place up, new changing rooms, new showers, place looks pretty smart, I'm seriously impressed. Pool is quietish, post-gym swimmers never stay here long. Water felt chilly to the big toe so I had to rely on a standing dive at the deep end, heaven knows how I ever get in The Lido. Swam a very efficient and enjoyable 60 lengths, GF finished her lengths at exactly the same time, synchronised swimming. Swam one more for luck in the slow lane. New showers are great, they don't turn off after 5 luke-warm seconds. Parkrun début this morning.

W ater temp: 13 degrees Still hanging on at 13 degrees. Grey, overcast morning, few patches of blue, we're gonna be alright. Time for some heroics, just getting in is an act of heroism. One breathtaking, dive later and I'm in, well it took my breath away, or that may have been the cold water. The shy old sun joins me for the first few lengths and I'm very glad that I made the effort. I'm beginning to accept early morning, autumn swimming as a normal, but minority, activity. As my sister said to me the other day: 'You mad lido person'. Felt very much alive as I cycled off to work. Here comes the weekend.

Water temp: 13 degrees Thursday morning pre-work swim. Well cold this morning when I left the house, even considered wearing gloves on me bike. Picked up new goggles from sorting office, aquasphere jobbies. Beautiful sunny morning despite the bite in the air, well more of a nibble. Fairly quiet at The Lido, the colder it gets... More swimmers than wetsuits again. Goggles are bloody massive, they cover half my face which is good because they keep the cold water off my skin, they may be so buoyant that they actually keep my head afloat, but that may not be quite true. They let a bit of water in on the first couple of lengths but they're OK, nearly sucked my eyes out of the sockets when I pulled them off. I decide to swim 6 lengths, 10 maybe, actually managed 12, It's good to be alive.

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside, in fact my favourite bit of the Norfolk coast, in front of Hunstanton Golf Course. Last gasp Saturday evening swim. Not as cold as I expected but should have bought my swimming hat. Larked about with J as MXO and GF looked on. Even managed a bit of body surfing. Cracking sunset rounded it all off. Back to cottage for fire and pasta all topped off with Chelsea beating Arsenal at their yard, perfect.

Water temp: 13 degrees It's a sunny Saturday morning. Arrived hot and sweaty on new bike via Gower Street and Queen's Crescent Market. Lots of bodies here today, more swimmers than wetsuits in the water, when I finally pluck up the courage this is gonna be good. There's no hiding when you're standing next to a pool in your trunks all hatted and goggled up, you gotta go for it. Beautiful, beautiful swim. Swam 16 lovely lengths.

Water temp: 14 degrees Yep, back for more Lidoness. It's not that I'm unhappy working from home on a Friday morning in my lovely warm cottage, radio on, freezer full of crumpets, more Marmite than you could spread thinly from here to Mars. No, I have compulsions that mean I have to leave the homeliness and cycle over the biggest hill in London then throw myself in to a freezing cold pool of chlorinated water. Great innit. Hardly a soul at The Lido, more swimmers than wetsuiters. Set myself a target of ten, really did 12 cos' I wanted to race a geezer in his rubber gear and flash goggles, you didn't stand a chance, I don't normally do that kind of thing, well sometimes. Ordered some new Aqua Sphere Tinted Vista Goggles as mine keep leaking and steaming up.

Water temp: 14 degrees That's right folks, 14 degrees. It's the most beautiful morning ever witnessed, I get up pretty early for a Saturday and I'm at The Lido at 11:15. The pool temperature sign which foretells me of my fate fills me with a sense of fear and excitement. So, I set myself a target of 10 lengths, if you're lucky, I should really get in first before making such bold predictions. The staff and the regulars have congregated outside the café for end of season corporation croissants and coffee, I'll join them after a few lengths. I dive in, yes it is very cold but I can deal with that, I will warm up. I turn on the style. At length nine or ten I realise that it's not that cold, or the cold has numbed my senses, whichever, the voice inside me determines I'm going for the end of season mile. Cold and elated I lie on the side at the shallow end, panting, swirling, exhilarated. A rubber clad female swimmer tells me I am hardy, I feel out of

Water temp: 15 degrees Early morning cycle/dip/cycle. Happy to say the temperature hasn't dropped during the night, but as man say, that's probably top-end to bottom-end 15. "I must be mad" I hear a sane voice inside me cry, a trapped voice. After a fair number of delaying tactics I find myself, hatted and goggled poolside. Oh my word, who knew that a big hole full of cold, chlorinated water could feel so good. Set myself a target of six, swam 10. Delicious. Last year I swam in the Lido until October 28, water temp 12 degrees, could go one better.

Water temp: 15 degrees After work dippy dip, water temperatures continue to plummet. A rather lovely 16 lengths. Job done, sped home.

Water temp: 16 degrees Wednesday after work workout. Beautiful late summer's evening. Temperature has plummeted by one degree. I felt this was the last opportunity to swim a mile in the The Lido this summer, at 16 lengths it was make or break, got cold feet and bottled it, that is my feet were getting rather cold and I got cold feet. Cycled home for dhal and Chelsea v Juventus. Dhal was better than the football, about 8.5 on the dhalometer.

Water temp: 17 degrees Apres work dip. Gorgeous if slightly chilly Tuesday afternoon. The Lido is looking all shimmery, sparkly and lovely. Forgot my swimming shorts, borrowed a big orange pair from the attendant. Place is quiet, almost silent apart from the odd splash or my massive gasp as I emerge from from my dive. The thermostat is stuck on 17 for the third day running, fine by me. Plodded along to a 10 lengths. This really was an almost perfect swim, I considered doing a few more lengths but thought I didn't want to spoil it. Be back soon. Cycled home to start Spanish course at The Institute.

Water temp: 17 degrees I left work feeling overcast, cold, worn out and a bit dishevelled from Saturday's booze up. Really didn't feel like swimming. As I reached the junction of Gordon House Road and Highgate road I looked left and spotted a sunny patch of blue in the western sky, that was enough for me, full of hope and promise I pedalled off to the Lido. The sunshine never materialised but the swim left me feeling rejuvenated, full of life and glad that I'd made the effort. Bumped in to V. and a couple of her mates outside the San Siro. Must pop in and see Tino soon.

Water temp: 17 degrees Scorching hot weekend in London, shame that my sister and I chose to go swimming during the overcast and dreary bit. The photo really flatters what was a very grey morning. My mild hangover didn't really help matters, I felt cold and was done by length nine or ten. We went and sought refuge in the cafe on Fleet Road. Sun came out good and proper in the afternoon, lazy, hazy time in a secluded spot over Primrose Hill.

Water temp: 16 degrees Sixteen degrees? You turn your back for a second and the temperature plummets. There again, as one wise old sage said today, that's 16 to go. Thursday morning sunshine swim. With my rubber hat, goggles, trunks and some trepidation I leapt to my fate. Marvellous, swam 10 divine, cloudless lengths. I was flying all day, buzzing even. I can't wait to do it all over again soon.

Water temp: 19 degrees Last gasp swim before closing. The ponds are now closing at 6:30pm, boo. Sun is still up at 6:10, hooray. Just enough time to do a big lap and a couple of better than average dives, I've been practising me dives, it's all coming together, sort of. My diving is on a parallel with my Spanish, I'm only a small spring away from one almighty planchazo Glad I made the effort, it was the swim or cycle up Highgate West Hill, again. Gotta take your chances this time of year. Who wants to swim indoors? Not me. Cycled home to watch England struggle against Ukraine. Photo: cold pond water

Roasting hot day in UK, 27 degrees, the rest of the world laughs at our idea of a roasting hot day. Small family trip up to Hertfordshire for the last swim of the season at Letchworth. Lots of splashing about and chucking balls around. Careful, the sign says 'No horseplay', tried to explain this expression to our Spanish companion who looked nonplussed, or is that perplejo? Cafe ran out of chips, we had the last portion of 2012. Photo: David Phasey

Beautiful September afternoon. It's about 26 degrees, 20 in the water. I've been here since 12.30. Place is pretty busy, too hot and lovely to swim lengths, been in a few times to cool off. Bumped in to J with her kids, chatted to her for a couple of hours. Apparently she was life guard at the ladies pond years ago, she told me she kept the key to the back gate so she could let herself in for private night time swims. Unfortunately the locks got changed. I only found out there was a back gate last week, why would I need to know that anyway? It's getting hotter by the minute and it's gone 5 o'clock.

Water temp: 19 degrees Gorgeous afternoon in London. Shot up The Lido straight after work. Bumped in to Dr. E again, spent most of my time chatting to him, can't really be doing with swimming lengths when there's a lane rope, seems very wrong somehow. Went to see Judas Kiss at Hampstead Theatre, Rupert Everett was in it.

Water temperature: 19 degrees After work swim. Was still feeling a wee bit stiff after the Pondathon, left bicep was telling me how old I am, I chose to ignore it. I arrived at 5:30 which gave me just enough time to set a Lido personal best, that's 34 freestyle lengths, 2040m, quite a few nautical hectares. Who needs the Olympics?

Water temperature: 19 degrees Lovely September evening, the water has even warmed up since yesterday. Pool has been divided in to three, a few people hanging around. Swam in the big lane, it's big enough for about five lanes, managed about 16 lengths, swam till kicking out time. Bumped in to Dr. E. and an old friend.

Water temp: 18 degrees It's 8 o'clock in the morning. Picked up a copy of The metro and had a bit of a read before my swim. Water felt clean and silky this morning, only managed about 8 lengths tho'. Rolled off to work. Boo.

Photo: Laura Nolte Axxa and I met at The Lido at 8am, which is in it's way a remarkable achievement, I've known Axxa a long time, we're more used to tripping and stumbling around Glastonbury or falling in/out of parties at 8am. Brief overview of the Pondathon. Three lengths of The Lido, run to the men's pond (one lap swimming), run to the ladies' pond (one lap of), across to the mixed pond (one lap of), high tail it to the running track. Now, I really did this to swim in the ladies pond. OK, I didn't get much time to check it out, I felt very honoured to be there, it's a very special place. That's us in the blue and black swimming hats, swimming not wading. I really enjoyed the race, not sure what our time was yet, but I'll definitely do it again next year. A big thank you to the organisers and a well done to everybody who took park. Photo of ladies' pond: Laura Nolte

Water temp: 18 degrees Saturday afternoon. Warmish, 23 degrees, lazy old sun, cloudy old clouds. Duathlon tomorrow so no heroics today, still feeling a wee bit stiff from yesterday's dress rehearsal. Cruised to 16 lengths. The pool cleaning robot was in at closing time, making it all nice and shiny for tomorrow. Sun came out at 6.20, glorious stuff, chatted to one of the regulars about reprogramming your brain in order to eat less.

Drizzly Thursday morning. Finally managed to drag my carcass outta bed and cycle over to The Lido. A patch of blue sky seen coming down Highgate West Hill looked promising. Nah. Sought shelter under the gazeebo thing, sod it, might as well be in the water. Turns out I had a lovely swim, did 16 lengths.

Water temp: 19 degrees Glorious morning at the Lido. When my alarm goes off in the morning I wish I could open my eyes, spring out of bed and pedal off to the Lido. Oh I dream of such antics, that's what I do. I arrived at 9am, time for 10 lengths in the inky, sparkly water. Lovely, lovely, lovely. Turns out that Med Man from work managed 10 lengths, he said it was too cold, the coldest, coldest water he'd ever swum in. He said he'd swim here again tho', I admire his bravery if not his brevity. Not long till the duathlon.

Water temperature: 19 degrees Bank holiday last swim, left it late. Overcast, could rain, sun could shine, maybe both, English summer. Water felt cold, I'm still not reacclimatised, please warm up again. Set myself a target of 20 lengths, struggled through the first four or five but I soon got a rhythm going. Thoughts of next weekend's duathlon, looming and daunting. Around length 15 or 16 with about 15 minutes till kicking out time I decided to go for the Big One, that's 27 lengths, an aquatic mile. I finished length 28 as the whistle blew. Bumped in to a colleague from work on the way out, he's a swimming nut, was here for the evening session.  I recommended The Lido to him a few weeks ago. He's very Mediterranean, I wonder how he got on with the English waters?

Managed a sneaky swim between downpours on Saturday afternoon. Pond deserted, chatted to Chris the lifeguard. Couple of big laps. Rushed home to watch Chelsea beat Newcastle.

Water temperature: 20 degrees A return to The Lido after a four week break. There was a knife fight last time I was here, won't dwell on that one. Finally managed to get my sleepy head out of bed for a pre-work swim. A perfect start to the day. Balance has returned to the universe.

Water temperature: 22 degrees (felt cooler) Beautiful evening, sun still out, occasionally. Training for Pondathon.  Decided to swim four big laps (323m each) with a breather and a dive off the springboard in between. Still don't know which way to swim so plumped for two of each. Have to say, anti-clockwise felt best, I love swimming towards the setting sun. Home to watch Chelsea thump Reading 4-2. Homemade dhal and rice. Perfect. Love the pic, John Conteh used to live on Croftdown Road opposite my sister.

Water temperature: 22 degrees Tuesday evening swim. Spain feels like a zillion miles away as I walk the familiar path to the Men's Pond. Glad to be back. I'm 'in training' for the pondathon, I'm still not sure which way round the pond I should swim so I swim one clockwise and the one anti-clockwise, yin and yang innit. Apparently that two lots of 323m. Had tzatziki and monk fish on my brain all day...

Magical.

Lovely cove at the end of a long, bumpy, dusty road. Beautiful clear, blue waters set against a volcanic coastline. Mick Webb tells the story well